Not a clue.....

I've entered a confusing time in my life. I have so many unanswered questions rolling around in my head. Struggling for so long has completely worn me out and I'm not sure how to close the hole that is beginning to form. It seems like I have so many options, but when you take a closer look..... it's only a show. There are different paths stretched out before me, but I am frozen in place. I know I must do something; I can't go on this way. I just have a feeling that I am missing something and when I find it, everything will come together. How do I find the missing piece? Which path should I take? I know...I have to answere these questions myself since I'm the only one who knows what the hell I'm talking about. Well, that's not entirely true.....I'm not sure either. Forgive me if my words are coming out jumbled, but they have not wanted to come out sounding sensible for some time now. A bit of writers block maybe? Or do I have so many thoughts that I don't know where to begin? Could be a little bit of both. Anyway, not to worry......I'm a big girl who will figure it out eventually.


Dana

Good Momma Part 2

   I am very proud to announce today that I have been promoted from "good momma" to "the goodest momma in the whole world"! I accept this honor with pride knowing now that I have fully earned it.
  You see.... since my last post on this subject, I have done a little experiment. I was interested in knowing what exactly made me a good momma. Was it giving in to him or did he truly think I was doing a good job? My plan was to take a mental note of what was happening at the moment of the compliment. I took my time observing. I noted each compliment carefully in my head. After awhile, I noticed a pattern. I recieved the most compliments from William when I gave in to whatever it was that he wanted. Only a small percent came out of nowhere. Well, right before I came to the conclusion that I had a con artist on my hands......it happened. 
   Today has been a very trying day for us. Being cooped up inside due to the freakishly cold weather has caused William and his brother to act up a bit more than normal. It's been the usual sibling fights caused by "the wants because he has its" or "the he's touching me so I'm pushing hims". Point being that both have gotten in trouble a bit more today than normal.  William especially has spent many, many, many long minutes in time out today. After a particularly bad episode of  "I don't want to sit in time out anymore" and  "Everytime you get out of time out I'm going to add more minutes" which included a lot of tears (his tears, not mine), we sat down to talk.  We always have the talk after both of us have calmed down. The talk consists of explaining the wrong choices he made and what we can do next time instead. Well, once our talk was over and we were giving hugs and kisses, he said "Your the goodest momma in the whole wide world". I instantly teared up and gave him another big ole' squeeze, then I said " Thank you William. I love you very much."
  So you see......I've obviously done something right. I can accept my promotion with the joy only a mother can have. The joy of knowing that your child truly appreciates you. If I could only get his father to do the same, I'd be set! Now, I'm just wondering if there will be another promotion in the future for me or..... "shutter" will I be demoted when he hits preteen? Yikes! I won't think about that just yet (too scary). I'm gonna bask in the beautiful compliments of my children and wear my badge proudly.
Dana

Excuse me while I vent.......

I'm searching my soul to find the strength I need to carry on with this day. A smile will be on display upon my face. I will not let negativity seep into my mind. I will not let you turn me into what you want me to be. I will beat you in your own game and take back my happiness. I am a woman with surviving on her mind. I will find the sun when you send me a rain cloud. I will find the positive when you send me crap. I am determined to make this life mine. I have the power and god on my side. I will kick some negative ass!

Thank you all for letting me have a crazy moment. I'm done now, I promise!

Dana


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Poetry related.....

  • The Academy of American Poets
          http://poets.org/
  • Poetry.org
         http://www.poetry.org/


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You can contact me at amdampier76@yahoo.com


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Dana Dampier

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