To Lane...
















I find myself taking you for granted
And I know you feel this
Just as you have sensed
All my emotions since before your time

Connected
I see myself in your hazel eyes
Saddened by the image they project
Freckles sprinkled like cinnamon atop your nose
An attitude as fiery as the hair adorning your head
The need for love screams through your actions

Thoughtless words you've witnessed
Have caused you pain
I have caused you pain
So I cry at the realization of this

What kind of mother does that?

I blame myself for your anxiety
I hope one day you will understand... forgive me


Dana


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14 comments:

  1. charming, heart felt, the brush of a feather indicating sorrow of a mother, oh our careless moments, but we do our best; remember that.

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    1. Yes I know... I do my best, but sometimes I don't think that is enough. He already has emotional and anxiety issues... I just hate to think that my carelessness has added to that.

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  2. def heartfelt....and i think we as parents take that burden on ourselves often...not saying it is not true...but i think we have to look also at the good we have done as well..and know none of us is perfect...

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    1. Thank you! My childhood was not the best... alot of bad memories. I want my children to have the childhood I didn't get. Things are coming full circle though and I'm not happy with it. I appreciate you stopping by to visit Brian!

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  3. Dana...this this is truly touching...if I had a dollar for every time I have sat reflecting on the job I have done as mother...goodness...my daughter would be spoiled rotten indeed...the fact you could write such a piece, with so much honesty and in your gut emotion...I don't think you need to blame yourself...that only takes away from the Mom you could be...guilt is a terrible thing that robs so much from us...

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    1. Thank you Natasha. I was hesitant about putting this poem on my blog... but I wouldn't be me if I didn't express myself! I really appreciate the kind words and I will take them to heart.

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  4. Dana, this is so tender and, I suspect, how every mother must evaluate her "performance." What a beautiful expression of what you want for your child. All we can do is try our best. Don't be too hard on yourself.

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    1. Being a mom is the most important job I have... I put them before anything else. It really hurts me when I slip and do or say something stupid that ends up affecting them.Thanks Victoria for taking the time to visit!

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  5. my kids are 17, 20 and 21 now..and if i would list the things i've done wrong, there wouldn't be enough paper in the world...if they feel that the fundament is love, they will be ok if we build with the one or other crooked stone...so...build on...it's a great adventure to raise a kid...smiles

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    1. I do make sure to tell and show them that I love them everyday.I don't want them to have one doubt about that. It is an adventure... one I'm glad I'm taking! Thanks for stopping by.

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  6. A heartfelt write...In the past, I have blamed myself for their "failures and faults" because I felt it reflected on me. Now I am more pragmatic about it because there are some things that you can't control and change ~ Great to see you at D'verse ~

    Grace

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    1. Thanks Heaven! I'm glad I finally decided to join in and thanks for your kind words.I appreciate you stopping by to read.

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  7. Heartfelt write and I appreciate the honesty. I hope you read it to him. Best wishes.

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