well now...there is a nice heat to this one...i think....heheh...not a bad overtaking...smiles.
Thanks Brian! Definitely different than what I usually write, but hey... always good to try something new!
Enjoyed very much your use of words here. Especiall 'presence' and 'essence' which made your cinquain sing!
Thank you Mary! I'm not good with form writing, but I wanted to give this one a go!
Oh, I think you are good indeed! Do not sell yourself short.
I really appreciate that! I tend to shy away from it, but I think I'll continue to try and push out of my comfort zone.
Lovely play of words specially presence & essence ~
Presence followed by essence... very nice.
Thank you Laurie!
Wonderful - and I like the last two lines too.
The last two lines came to mind first... basically my inspiration.
Liked the assonance of the last words.
Breathing ravenously !
Hehe... good! Then I've done my job!
This is a sexy read, and a lot of fun.
I had a lot of fun writing this one! Thanks!!
Overtaken is quite a nice word here! :)
It's how I'd love to feel! Thanks Margaret!!
a wonderful embrace!
Ah so sweet, and the wordplay on essence and precense is so nice.
Thank you very much! I appreciate you stopping in to read!
Loved your choice of words and the picture that accompanies the poem. It makes you feel warm and loved.
Everyone else has commented on the presence/essence assonance, which is delightful, so I guess I have to find something else to say :-)I think this cinquain is really special because the same set of words have two possible meanings (at least). Most people have picked up on the sensual/sexual meaning, but I find that there is a spiritual interpretation here too. Riches indeed from only 22 syllables.
YES!! I'm so glad you pointed that out! I had both in mind when I began writing this... the last two sentences being the first that I wrote. I wanted it to be interpreted both ways... but when writing it I definitely had the spiritual side of connecting with someone in mind! Thanks!
I think the photo leads one in the sensual direction but I felt the spiritual connection..oops a rhyme...I like that you wrote the last two lines first then added the rest ;)
hmmm nice... that's the kind of being overtaken that i have no objections against....smiles
To have great poets... there must be great audiences ~ Walt WhitmanThank you for being that audience!