Only being honest...

  Yesterday, my little family and I went on our weekly shopping trip to Wal-Mart. The trip started out great with both the boys in very non-whiney or "I want this, this and got to have that" moods. Right when I thought we were going to be able to check out and exit the store without any issues... William gets ants in his pants and begins running around. We give him his warning which includes him settling down or his beloved bubbles are staying at the store. The warning goes unheaded so daddy puts the beloved bubbles back on the shelf just as promised. Well, this doesn't make for a happy William.  He begins begging in a very loud voice as tears stream down his cheeks. Me, being the push-over I am, sits beside William on the bench next to the pharmacy. I begin my spill about bad decision making and we discuss how we are suppose to act in a store. William told me he understood what he did wrong and then apologized for his behavior. After hugs and kisses where given I grab the bubbles off the shelf. Before I handed the bottle back, I asked William... "Are you going to be a big boy and listen so we can purhase your bubbles and go home?" He promptly replies... "I certainly hope so mommy. I want to blow my bubbles." *sigh* At least he was honest!


Ten years...

  Ten years... ten years have gone by since I have graduated from High School. This little fact was made known to me when I checked the mail yesterday. It came in the form of a gold and maroon postcard with a picture of the graduating class of 2000 stamped right on front. On the opposite side was a note written in italics explaining that it has been ten years since our graduation. A class reunion has been scheduled for May.The note also commanded that I must RSVP at once because everyone is waiting to see me and I didn't want to miss it. Well, I'll be damned if this little postcard will tell me what to do!
  I'm not exactly where I thought I would be at this stage in my life. I haven't accomplished much except for spitting out a couple kids and gaining a hundred pounds. I never graduated from a nice college or held a job worth bragging about. I'm a frumpy stay-at-home mom who's major decisions consist of which room to clean that day or if I feel like cleaning at all! I don't have many friends (only a couple from High School) and no social life at all! I'm addicted to facebook and my t.v. shows that I watch religously. I live in a dumpy trailer falling apart around us and I drive a granny car. Now... don't get me wrong! I'm not unhappy about my life. I just thought I would have more under my belt.
  After analyzing the picture and reading the note a half dozen times, I chunk it in the trash. I'm not going. That's all there is to it! I really don't feel the need to see anyone from High School and tell them about my crazy/boring life. I don't want to hear about their wonderful jobs, wild social lives, and all the weight they lost! I understand this won't be true for everyone there. I understand I'm probably not the only one who's life has gone in this direction, but I'm not ready to face these people. I'm not ready to show them who I am because... at this point, I don't even really know who I am.
  So, that settles it. Much to the postcard and my husbands disappointment... I'm skipping the ten year reunion!

When you just say no...

   I'm the type of person who will do whatever I can to help another person in need, always have and always will. Complete strangers, nieghbors, friends and family can count on me to be there for them. My earliest memory of helping a complete stranger was when I was about 7 or 8yrs old. My dad and I went to Wal-Mart on a particulary hot day in the middle of summer. We parked close by a rusted, beat up truck with a family of four sitting in the bed. A father, a mother, and two twin babies. They looked exhausted, hot and dirty. I noticed a sign laying flat in the bed of the truck close to where the family was sitting. It read "Homeless and Hungry. Please help". I felt my emotions tugging at me and immediatly went to work on my dad to convince him to help. (I didn't have any money my self being so young) It took a lot of pleading and me taking nothing under a $5.00 bill, but he eventually handed over a $10. I walked over to the family quickly, said hello and handed them the money. Before they could speak, I was running back to where my dad was standing. As I was running, I heard the mother say "Thank you and bless you"
   I guess you can say I'm what they call a humanitirian. I see someone suffering and at once... their suffering becomes mine. I feel the heaviness on my heart the same way they feel it in theirs. I can't always help financially, but I can help emotionally and physically.  Occasionally though, I will meet someone who realizes this characteristic in me and will take advantage of it. That's when you have to just say no... no matter how much it bothers you to do so. If I don't walk away the instant I realize I'm being taken advantage of... I will become overwhelmed and bombarded with requests. Nothing I do will ever be enough. My neighbor is one of these people. She has recently fallen on hard times (most of it is her significant others doing) and has to move. I told her Aaron and I will do what we can to help. Since then, she has become super needy and asks for our help with the simplest things. Changing lightbulbs, switching her clothes from the washer to dryer, getting gas for her from the gas station. We let her use our trash barrel because we have the room to spare and she can't afford to pay trash. We've cut her grass, taken care of her dog, and picked up boxes to help her move. We've gathered newspapers when we could and I even spent a few hours helping her pack one day (I did the majority of the work). We've done all these things withen the last couple months and yet she asks for more. Now, I need to explain that she does have a few physical limitations due to a horrible car accident she was in about a year ago, but I have to say that she is physically able to do all the things we have done  for her. Her latest request is for me to pack her whole entire house by myself. What the hell?!! Not only does she want me to pack her whole entire house, she wants us to get more boxes and buy newspapers to pack with! When she sprang this request on me... I decided it was time to walk away.
  As I mentioned before, I would do anything in my power to help someone in need. My emotions take over and it's hard for me to say no. When I do have to walk away... I feel guilt knowing I was all they had. Life goes on and so do I. These certain people will not stop me from helping others, they will not effect the way I see people in need. You never know... I could be the one in need and I would certainly wish for someone like me to be around.


* The lady mentioned above doesn't read my blog, so I felt free to write this.
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