I'm surrounded by a room full of people, yet I feel loneliness inside. All are familiar, kind faces that I love. They don't get me though. None of them really know who I am. No one here connects with me, insight into my soul. I love that they love me, but I can't draw comfort from them. They see the me that I want them to see. They see the smile I want them to see. Nobody knows me with just one look. Not one can tell with just a glance. They came because I wanted them to. They are here because they should be. I'm frustrated! I can't express myself in the manner that I want to, they don't understand. It's beyond them. I nod, make small talk, and smile like I should. I'm suffocating, mentally exhausted. I need someone to know me. I need someone to say..... I know. A person on my level of thought, on my level emotionally. I don't want to have to say a word. Am I wrong to want this? To me....It's all apart of being human. It's all about striving to be a better person. I float about the room like a good hostess should. I serve and entertain. I go through the motions ,not letting anyone in on my thoughts. All of this I do alone. How can it be that I recognize the little things in people? How can I be the only one? I hate to say that they don't care, it's just not true. I don't want to say that they are selfish, I love them. They just don't get me. They don't get my moods and gestures, my fears or dreams. No one knows what they are, or what they really mean. I want to let someone in. I want to be understood.
Labels: Just a thought