Merry Christmas

Silver bells jing-a-linging
As I sing a Christmas carol
Merry laughter ring-a-linging
As loved ones reunite
Paper crinkling as it rrrriiiiips
Landing all over the floor
Squeals of delight fill the room
As the children open gifts galore
Sweet smells linger heavily
All around the house
Stomachs grrrooowling hungrily
Patiently waiting for tasty bites
Family gathered all around
Relishing the season and the lights
What better way is there to spend a Christmas Day
Than the good ole' fashion way!


Not to be feared

A foggy haze covers the surrounding land
A dampness clings to the air
Bare feet sinking into the sand
Waves crashing as I stare

In the distance something lingers
As still and bold as a tree
Cold winds bite at my face and fingers
As I contemplate what I see

Fear is not present; only a feeling of forlorn
For I know what lies ahead
In the grey light of an early morn

Inch by inch I draw near
Shedding old emotions as I go
One by one in the form of a tear
Quietly gliding down my cheek so slow

The only noise known to me is of my every breath
Deep and flaccid with every inhale
Not flustered by the thought of death

For I know what lies ahead
In the grey light of an early morn

Closer still I approach this solitary being
Mind and body focused intently
Not wanting to understand the meaning

The salty spray so prominent to the senses
Coating exposed skin
Tearing down walls, beating defenses
Bringing peace within

For I know what lies ahead
In the grey light of an early morn

Pausing a moment in the shallows of the sea
Reaching out my hand
Looming before me
A giant of a man

Yellow rays of sun begin to part the grey
Enveloping the both of us
Casting the cold away

Taking my hand into his own
Smiling all the while
Without a word my life was shown
Words and pictures compiled

"Take me home" I say
And with an embrace we fly
Worldly wieght fell away
As I whisper goodbye

For I know what lies ahead
In the grey light of an early morn


Don McLean- Vincent

Vincent is one of my favorite songs. Don McLean put poetry to music when he wrote this.


"Vincent" is a song by Don McLean written as a tribute to Vincent van Gogh. It is also known by its opening line, "Starry Starry Night", a reference to van Gogh's painting The Starry Night. The song also describes different paintings done by the artist.

McLean wrote the lyrics in 1971 after reading a book about the life of the artist. The following year, the song became the number one hit in the U.K. and No. 12 in the U.S.

starry night
paint your palette blue and grey

look out on a summer's day
with eyes that know the
darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills
sketch the trees and the daffodils

catch the breeze and the winter chills

in colors on the snowy linen land.
And now I understand what you tried to say to me

how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen
they did not know how

perhaps they'll listen now.

starry night
flaming flo'rs that brightly blaze

swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in
Vincent's eyes of China blue.
Colors changing hue
morning fields of amber grain

weathered faces lined in pain
are soothed beneath the artist's
loving hand.
And now I understand what you tried to say to me

how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
perhaps they'll listen now.

For they could not love you
but still your love was true

and when no hope was left in sight on that starry
starry night.
You took your life
as lovers often do;
But I could have told you
this world was never
meant for one
as beautiful as you.

starry night
portraits hung in empty halls

frameless heads on nameless walls
with eyes
that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the stranger that you've met

the ragged men in ragged clothes

the silver thorn of bloody rose
lie crushed and broken
on the virgin snow.
And now I think I know what you tried to say to me

how you suffered for your sanity

how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen
they're not
list'ning still
perhaps they never will.


They're brats...but they are mine

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others."  Cicero

 Today I was struck face first by the fact that my children are brats. Yep, I said it! They are ungrateful brats; always complaining about something. It doesn't matter what I do to please them, it's just never good enough. For example: At lunch time today, my middle boy (L) wasn't happy in the least bit. First, he began by complaining about his sandwich bread. Apparently it wasn't to his liking. Next, he began whining because he decided he didn't like peanut butter and jelly (he'll like it again tomorrow). Then, he got angry because I put his sandwich on a paper towel instead of his beloved Santa plate that his grandparents bought him. (I refused to unnecessarily dirty dishes) After that, he started crying because I told him he either eats what I make him or he doesn't eat. I left his sandwich on the counter.... he wanted me to carry it to the table for him. After 20 minutes of screaming, L finally settled at the table with his sandwich. Right before he took his first bite, he noticed that his glass was empty and preceded to demand more. By then, I'd had enough. I took his food and sent him to his room.

I've noticed a definite increase in their behavior over the last month.. not in a good way.

 My heart is broken... where did I go wrong?

 What have I done to deserve such rude and ungrateful boys? My husband and I don't allow this attitude.. it's just not tolerated. The boys know this. We have taught them how to use their manners and we are always looking for opportunities to teach them how blessed they are. We don't shower them in materialistic stuff or give them everything they want. They have to earn the things they want with good behavior. My oldest has also started receiving a small weekly allowance for doing chores.

So... where is this coming from?

 I can't say that I am totally shocked... there are some people in my children's lives that allow the behavior to happen without punishment when they are with them. I would have thought though that the lessons we have tried to instill in them would act like a buffer. I know they will most certainly try to get away with it at times (they are kids after all), but I never thought they would push full force... especially at home. I never thought it would be like this. I feel like I've failed as a parent in raising them to be kind, well mannered boys. I desperately want them to grow to be good men. When I think about the kind of men I want my boys to be, Andy Griffith from the little town of Mayberry pops into my head.

 Brats or not... they are my boys and I love them. I take full responsibility for them. I pray though that we will be able to move past this really, really soon.

.... that this too shall pass.


Finding the way back - Pt 2

She feels alone with her thoughts as if she resides in her own small world. A world where emotions flow within the breeze and words penned on paper hang from the air. Loneliness has invaded her being. It's a loneliness that yearns for friendly companionship. Day after day, she moves behind these walls caring for her family and home. Taking pride in her accomplishments, but never completely fulfilled. Day after day, she searches to connect with others on a level she can relate to.

A need to vent, to gossip, to laugh with another who understands her; another who will always be there when called upon. She hopes for a friend who will listen to her stories; who will read the words she puts to paper without judgment. A friend who can offer a bit of advice. She needs another who will assist her in escaping the walls that confine her... if only for a moment.

"Life without a friend is death without a witness" author unknown

This woman currently lives for others only, but she dreams of living a little for herself.


Trials and Tribulations

 Thinking back... I replay all the amazing moments that have shaped my life over the past year. A couple of the more important ones are the birth of my sweet baby boy and my wonderful family and friends who always have my back. Then, I write about them. Not this time...  this year will be different.  I've realized there are other reasons I should be thankful. Something that I normally wouldn't be grateful for...

 The year 2011 has been a troublesome one. I haven't meet one person who has not been affected by the economy in some form. My family in particular has been struggling financially (among other things) . There were many times I didn't know how we would make it through the week. I would secretly cry in the middle of the night as the rest of the world slept. The phone would often ring continuously because we were afraid to answer it. Worry and anxiety replaced all other emotions. We lived paycheck to paycheck... day to day. I honed in on my acting skills and made like everything was just great when family and friends would inquire. It was a year plagued with struggles. For this, I am thankful.

 I know it sounds crazy... but you know the phrase "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

 Due to the hardships we endured, we were forced to make an important (and extremely scary) decision that has essentially changed our lives. If it wasn't for those struggles, we wouldn't be where we are today. We can breathe, we can smile... we can honestly say we are happy. Life threw us a challenge and we totally kicked it's butt! I feel such a sense of accomplishment and for once I feel... well, I feel like I finally know what I'm doing. I learned a very important life lesson this year. Have patience and everything will fall into place. It definitely has and it's only going to get better!


Finding the way back

Not long ago, there was a quiet and very confused teenage girl pushing her way through life as if she was stuck in quicksand. This girl grew fast and is now an outspoken and even more confused woman who feels that her life resembles a revolving door.

This womans' dreams have not changed much over the years. Due mostly to the fact that they have not transpired. Her passion for writing still burns through her fingertips. She feels too deeply and loves, perhaps, too much. The evidence can be seen on her emotionally wrought face, it can be read in the words that she writes.  Hunger for life seeps from her eyes. Always wanting more, always striving for a positive change. Her damaged self esteem has not yet begun to heal. Thus her heart remains in chains.

This woman... she holds onto hope still; latching onto the good surrounding her. Enveloping her entire being around her three beautiful, little souls. Desperately clawing her way to finding peace within. A peace that can produce a calm in her life, an ease that will allow her to really LIVE.


Veterans Day lesson

While driving home today, after picking W up from Kindergarten, he told me he wanted to bring a toy he won by participating in a fundraiser to school the next day so he could show his friends. I explained to him that he didn't have school on Friday because of the Veterans Day holiday. Naturally, W wanted to know what Veterans Day was and why it was a holiday. So I explained.

We talked about the different branches of the military and exactly what a veteran was. I explained how Veterans Day is the day we honor our veterans and those who are currently serving our country. We even talked about W's Papa who use to work on A10's while in the Air Force. He asked a lot of questions and genuinely seemed interested (as well as slightly confused at times) which made me extremely happy (not about the confused part!). W even recited most of The Pledge of Allegiance for me which surprised me. I wasn't aware he knew it!

As we pulled into the driveway, I asked him what he thought about our conversation and if he would like to learn more about Veterans Day. His response was "Mom, I can make funny noises out of my nose... gnee, gnee, gnee."

Well... I tried! I guess I bored him more than I thought, I forget how short his attention span is.

Happy Veterans Day to those who served and are serving our country. Thank You!


Unknown Memories

Haunting my dreams,
you stand tall amongst the sky.
Bold and Strong
A dark structure
in an unknown time.
I feel education seeping through
aged wood.
In total comfort I roam.
Walking in your midst,
I admire your facade with love.
Sitting in a field of weeds
and yellow daises,
you dominate my mind.
Manifesting, tormenting
I know this place;
I know not why.


Wouldn't you say...

Life is comparable to the wind...

constantly changing direction,
flowing to unknown destinations upon a whim.



I pray...
to the brilliant white light of our maker and to the love contained within it.

I pray...
every night before I close my eyes. I pray every single night as I stare upward at the darkness of the room.

I pray...
for my loved ones, for happiness and peace to envelope all. I pray for the things anyone else would pray for.

Before I say Amen; before I drift slowly into my dreams I make sure to say thanks for anything I may have taken for granted during the bustle of the day. I thank our creator for allowing me these things that so many others less fortunate are forced to do without.

Material items such as my favorite pair of earrings, or that comfy chair I love to curl up in with a book. Simple things such as my morning cup of coffee and those few stolen moments I can get to collect myself each day. Amenities such as electricity and clean running water. The roof over my head and food in my fridge. The most important things in my life... my family and friends.

I must say though, I have realized today with the help of a friend that I tend to forget to mention my husband. I neglect to recognize the fact that I take him for granted. I should be grateful for all that he does for our little family; all that he sacrifices. Even when he makes me mad sometimes, err... ummm... maybe it's more like daily!

If I was to wake up one morning and find myself without the things I take for granted...
he wouldn't be there.

He wouldn't be there... and I would regret it.

I'm not sure why I have forgotten to include him in the past, but after much thought... I've realized I want him in my future. I want him there. For me, for our boys... he needs to be there. I'm going to make sure he will be.

Now if I could just get him to do the same.


*This post was inspired by Kick In The Blog

Good things are happening

My little family and I have recently made a few major changes that have effected us in a really awesome way. One of these changes was an out of state move due to my husband (we shall call him A) getting a new job. This job is exactly what we were needing to dig ourselves out of this hole we fell into. Another plus about this change is the state we moved to. I'm originally from here and most of my family lives here... basically I came home!

The downside to this is my husband A's work schedule. It's the pitts!

He is on a probationary basis right now which means he has to work the hours that everyone else hates. This basically leaves me alone with three rowdy boys for the hardest part of the day... evenings. I don't know about you... but feeding three cranky bottomless pitts, wrangling their extremely dirty bodies into the bathtub, and getting them to bed (in their own bed) on time is quite difficult for me.

I'm happy to say though that I've done well... I'm really proud of myself. This schedule has forced me to step up to the plate and get my sometimes lazy butt in gear. It has allowed me to take back control. I feel more confident and less dependent on A.

The less I rely on A... the less I'm likely to be disappointed when he lets me down.

Good things are happening which makes the decision to move here even more worth it!


Enchanted Hideaway

Clear, icy water
bubbles softly as it flows.
Swirling, churning
as it slips past
algae covered stones.
The smell of damp earth
permeating the air.
Hidden from the outside world
by broad outstretched
arms of ancient oaks.
Flanked by land
containing a pallet of emerald green
with pops of red, blue and yellow.
Brimming with a variety
of life who
calls this home.
A peaceful, enchanting scene.


A Fall Morning

 A crisp fall morning awakens from it's deep slumber.
Cold mist hangs about the air.. showing signs of an early winter.
The first fingers of  sunlight melt the invading frost as it creeps upon the landscape.

The world stirs to a chorus of birds rustling amongst the tree branches.
Insects and animals alike emerge from their damp earthen homes to ready themselves for a day of work.
A tiny, red squirrel scampers hurridly across the ground.

Flora and fauna open towards the slowly warming sky revealing a vibrant pallet of colors.
The fragrance of purple pansies mingle with wet earth to form a heavenly scent
A bee... (unable to resist) weaves in and out of the silky petals.

Forming shadows dance atop the high grass as a breeze blows past.
Dogs bark in the distance, romping through the fields.
No other sounds exist...
No other sights to be seen,
but Mother Nature herself.


Who am I?

Who am I?
What is it that fills my heart...
what does my soul contain?

I ponder awhile and listen for answers upon the wind. Knowing who I want to be... Knowing where I've been... not knowing what tomorrow brings. As the sun sets upon the world day after day, life changes and we must adjust. As the stars ever so slowly change their positions amongst the sky... we must change as well. As new information comes to light our view on a subject matter might be altered. As our days here on earth come to an end, you are never the same person you once were.

My hope is to grow wiser with each passing year, to love my family unconditionally, to make and keep awesome friends. I hope to one day full fill my dreams and watch as my children full fill theirs. I want to be happy! I want to be in love with the world as I watch glorious sunsets. I still want to be wishing upon the stars.

For now... I am who I am. I've got flaws, but who doesn't. I have goals that I will continue to strive for. I will write for me until someone wants me to write for them. I am a mother and a wife. I am a woman and a child. I am in love and I am loved. I am confused, but walking with faith. I am everything  I'm suppose to be.


inspired by Kick in the blog

I dream for them...

I use to be a dreamer... I had big plans for my future. I'd picture myself upon the rolling green hills of Ireland or in any of the other beautiful places I wanted to visit.I had foreseen how my life would go (I wanted to be a writer).My future husbands face was etched into my brain and yes... he looked alot like Johnny Depp. I knew what I wanted and I was prepared to grab it by the horns.

Until life stepped in.

I still have dreams. I still have hope for the future, but they've changed over the years. I dream of happiness and love for my boys, whom are the loves of my life. I want the best for them like any other mother would. I hope to teach them the tools to navigate life. I want them to know that the world belongs to them, to know that they can be whatever they want to be. I pray that they will grow up to have kindness in their hearts and a gentle hand. I want them to have everything I did not. I want them to take oppurtunities that I didn't take.  I dream that my boys have a fullfilling life. I hope they will be honest, good men.

There is one dream for myself that I still hold onto and that is to be comfortable and happy with my life.

Oh who am I kidding....
I want to marry Johnny Depp!


This post was inspired by Kick in the blog

Forever Grateful

Beginning a new chapter in life can be intimidating, exciting and frustrating... but when you have the love and support of family and friends everything falls into place as it should. I owe many, many thanks to several people in my life for helping my family and I make it through a tough situation. I am forever grateful to my loved ones for having faith in us and hope to pay them back tenfold. I realize how blessed I am to have them in my life. I can finally begin to let go of some of this worry and anxiety I bear. We as a family can begin to move forward. Positive energy will emanate from our home and bodies. We still have a ways to go when it comes to getting ourselves back on track , but we have taken the first (and most difficult) of many steps to come. I see a wonderful future for us on the horizon. For the first time in a very long time... I am smiling!



Life in progress... will keep you updated!

A lot of things are changing in my little world at this very moment. Not sure if these changes will be good or bad in the long run, but I've got to give it a chance. Somethings gotta give! Three handsome little boys are counting on me.


Just Realized...

It's never made sense to me,
yet it doesn't really have too.
That's the way it's meant to be, 
realizing I never had to choose.
Being made to feel guilty,
I think I always knew.
You should love us unconditionally,
not when it's convenient for you.


Step one...

Waking up with the rising sun, rays of light falling upon my bed... another day older. The smell of fresh brewed coffee filling the room; tasting the warmth against my lips... another hour older. I watch the rhythmic movement of the hours, minutes passing slowly... listening to the tick tock tick tock. Times' slipping away and what have I done? Same routine everyday... same excuses getting in my way. Why? What is there to lose... what is there to gain?
  Looking into the mirror I see a face. Can't be mine... no way. Tired eyes, forgotten smile, creases upon rough skin. A perplexed look fixed upon this face causes me to wonder; what happened to this woman? Why the worry... why the pain? Her reflection tells a story that may never be known. I understand though that she needs to make a change!
  So little time to waste. Lost hours can't be replaced. Realization hits hard as I gaze upon my children at play. There is much that remains to be done. There is much that remains to be seen, feelings to be felt and people to love. Where do you begin? Which way do I lean? One question leads to another... but in the midst something becomes clear. Until I take the first step, the goal will never be near. Finding the woman in the mirror once more, I ask of her what to do. She answers meekly "help me...  help you."  
  That's it! I've found the answer. To move forward, I must begin with myself. Healing the heart, repairing the soul will cause everything to fall in place like a chain of dominoes. I whisper "Thank you... Goodbye", to the defeated image as I turn to walk away. Never again will I look upon her face. I've got a fight to win against procrastination and I feel it's going to go my way.


* This post was inspired by Jessica @ Kick in the Blog

What do I Love to do?

Recently I was asked  "What do you love to do?" This question shouldn't be a hard one to answer, but for some reason... I had to think about it. Somewhere between becoming an adult and a mother, I lost myself. Besides writing (which is an obvious answer), I couldn't come up with anything. I know what I love about my life (my boys). I know I love my life! I don't however, know what I love to do in life. After putting a lot of thought into it... this is what I came up with.
  1. Writing poetry or about anything else that comes to mind.
  2. Simply being with my family and the one's I love.
  3. Smiling, laughing, crying happy tears.
  4. Sleeping (especially when it rains!)
  5. Reading just about anything.
  6. Eating dessert.
  7. Being amongst natures' beauty.
  8. Taking hot bubble baths.
  9. Helping others.
  10. Loving life.
Realizing that it shouldn't have been difficult to answer this; I have come to the conclusion that I don't do enough for myself. This is one goal I'm setting for myself that I am going to love to fulfill.

What do you love to do?


To the point

May the words finally be spoken,
feelings spilling from my lips.
May the silence finally be broken,
the truth falling like chips.
However you take this...
is no concern to me.
The end is near and I've got the key.


Welcome to it

A continuous transformation;
one stage to the next
Learning, experiencing...
piercing the veil of possibilities
Faltering at times
Rising above expectations at others
Frustrating yet beautiful
Saddening yet joyous
Always full of surprise
To love...
to understand
To have compassion for your fellow man
Forgiving faults...
forgetting hate
Finding inner peace,
Consenting to fate
Figuring out beliefs
Sharing knowledge
Utilizing skills
Pondering ancient mysteries
Discovering passion
Sailing on the mighty seas
Wishing, dreaming upon a star
Catching fireflies in a jar
Respecting nature and all her glory
Growing old...
growing wise
Realizing your worth
Leaving your mark on



Two roads lay before me.
One being worn, comfortable
One being  freshly paved, unknown.
I could continue on... bumping along the rocky way.
I could detour from the original and take a chance.
Change wouldn't be easy, but it might be for the better.
I can't determine the outcome...
I can't pretend someone wouldn't hurt.
For my boys... a decision must be made.


Inside Out

Breathing… inhaling the stench of defeat.
Sudden realization of my predicament saddens me.

Hot tears spring forth from tired eyes.

What a joke…

Am I

For how long, I am unsure.

How long will I endure.

Ticking inside…

It’s only a matter of time.

All will be lost.

All will be known.

Behavior I can’t condone,

Rising from the inside out.

Just playing the game



Holding in...

Birds into the sunset

Choking back the tears,
I choose to smile
... for awhile.
Sunlight dancing across the wall,
causing me to concentrate... reflect.
Thumbing through pages
Vast emotions unwilling,
refusing to turn into words.
Leaning into the pillows,
careening into sadness.
I did this... I did

A hum in the air,
a whisper upon the wind.
Unspoken feelings,
held within.
Tears escape me...
Still forcing a smile
cause that's my way

Tall grass, open field
red sun setting in a magenta sky.
Holding fast to memories
as I cry.
Freely... openly
I alone know the truth
If only I could fly.

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Just sayin...

To know is to understand, yet I find myself constantly misunderstood. I don't really feel the urge to be gotten by all... just one will suffice.


Just a tidbit...

Life has a habit of ignoring the things you want and giving you the things you need. Somethings aren't meant to be. Somethings may surprise you as being exactly what you were needing. Trust in life... trust in God. The guy really knows what he is doing? When it seems impossible to believe what is happening is meant to happen... take a breather and look at the bigger picture. Chances are you will begin to see all the pieces falling together. Pay attention to life and learn from it. Experience things... I mean really experience them. Use the brain you were given and ponder life itself. You will notice a difference in yourself. You will learn to trust...  not to take things for granted. You will see the miracles of life.


Crazy, poetic life on Twitter

I’ve finally done it. I tweeted! I made an account for my blog on Twitter. It’s about time right? (Actually… I already had an account for myself, but never used it.) If you would like to follow me on Twitter, click on the contact me tab and click the follow me button. I’m moving up in the world!


Pieces of Me

Pieces of Me

Stacks upon stacks; invisible stacks
of thoughts, feelings, memories.
Fragmented and whole, the words
on display only my eyes can see.
Effecting none... effecting everyone
who walks within it's space.
Pieces of me float about, taking ahold of the place.

Unrecognizable to the untrained eye,
though signs are everywhere.
Lists and lists of ideas hanging unseen upon the air.
Traces of facts, traces of lies... paragraphs of sizable size,
Absorbed by all, even those who never knew
Pieces of me now reside in you.

Do what you wish with the knowledge I give
I know not whether I affect the life you choose to live



Restaurant, Mandeville, Louisiana. Interior wi...

Tick, Tock, Ticking in my head
An invisible timepiece dangles
Keeping me constantly aware
Held captive in it's snare
Tick, Tock, Ticking... everywhere
Racing, chasing against shadows
Gathering bits of lost time
Watching white rabbits run through my mind
Scared of what there is to find
Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock
Influential numbers ruling my life
Bullying me into action
Receiving no satisfaction of accomplishment
Draining the passion for which I was meant
Tick, Tock, Ticking...
A constant battle to beat the clock
Resisting the pull of time
Wanting to make this life mine
Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock... chime

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My Baby

Baby toes

My Baby

Overjoyed and sleep deprived
Sweet smiles, soft cries
Tiny fingers and ten toes,
I hold you to my heart and promise to cure your woes.
Diaper changes and feeding times
Singing songs, reciting rhymes
Wide eyes and a curious stare
We, your family, have tons of love to share.
Growing slightly everyday, but my baby you will stay!


I'll Be Seeing You

I'll Be Seeing You

Until the sun has risen and fell upon my last days,
I will look heavenward beyond what my eyes can see.
Comforted by the fact that you are watching over me,
Always in my heart and surrounding me with your spirit.
I can feel you there.
Until I see your vibrant face staring back at me,
I will be seeing you in dreams.

At the end of my days on earth
After the last sunset,
I will be waiting in twilight between both worlds.
Beneath the emerging stars,
I will be looking for you as you come to welcome me home.
Like an angel you will appear to take my hand on a journey to the other side.
Ready as you once were, you will guide me to God.
I have missed you, but knew this day would come.
Surrounded by love and rose colored light,
I will rejoice as we reunite.

I love you!

For Grammy



Gentle cries,
Soft skin,
Tired eyes,
Sleepy grins,
Bundled up,
Fresh and new,
My sweet baby boy
I love you!

Welcome home!

Dana (mommy)

Any day now...

Any day now my life is going to change forever for the third time. I'm expecting a new baby boy to enter this world and our family. This being my third boy... I'm slightly scared for my sanity! Also... if his activities in my stomach are any indication of how he will be outside of my stomach, I'm in trouble. It's been an uneventful pregnancy (with a few exceptions), but these past few weeks have been miserable for me. Contractions, backaches, sore muscles, and lots of other gross issues that I will leave unmentioned  have left me begging this child to "come out already!" On the other hand... the process of going through labor does not excite me in the least bit. My brain has suddenly recalled all the details/pain of my last two experiences and I'm officially turning into a scaredy cat!.EEEK  I am lucky though to have the love and support of many family and friends every step of the way. I also know that the moment I meet my new baby boy every pain and fear will have been worth it. This crazy household is about to get a lot more crazier!


Catch Me

Catch Me

Can't you see; won't you understand?
The words you put forth are meaningless.
Don't you spy the forming tears in my eyes?
How much more do I need to stress...
I've explained what I need from you.
You've said you care.
It's time to show what your soul truly bares.
Only time can tell me how to make the call.
All I need is one thing...
Won't you catch me when I fall?

Don't you hear; won't you comprehend?
I see through the spoken lies.
How can you ignore my silent cries?
What more can I do?
Tell me what I should say?
How do I turn your attention my way?
Let's cut through the veil... relieve the tension.
Confront the issues at hand.
Only time can tell me how to make the call.
All I need in one thing...
Won't you catch me when I fall?

Won't you realize who I really am; what I mean to you?
Won't you treat me as your equal; not what's underneath your shoe?
Only time can tell me what I should do.

All I need is one thing...

You need to know just one small thing...
Your love will catch me when I fall.


*This is my first attempt at song lyrics, so don't bash me too bad!

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My eyes are blind

Through Eyes

Snow Owl

Through Eyes

Owl's see through the film, through the muck of deceit and lies.
Knowing you immediately... you can't get past them.
They are knowledge, holders of precious secrets.
Old souls.
Winged angels of the night perched high, one with the moon and sky.
Calling out into the darkness... fierce and wise.
Penetrating the soul with large, beautiful orbs.
What is it that you see in me?
I am ready to be judged.
Spread your wings and look into my eyes.
Sit beyond my bedroom window and guard me from the night.
Be my totem... you leave me mystified.

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Poem: A Change of Tide

Malpe Beach

A Change of Tide

A change in seasons brings forth a change in life.
Finally... not drowning in high tide.
Goals within arms reach just in time for life to take flight.
Sun burning brightly over the horizon;
All has been made right.

In this ever changing world... we must adapt.
We must survive the harsh realities to be rewarded.
God always provides our needs;
Desires are what we strive for.
Expect nothing.

Remember these moments when your struggles become overwhelming.
Savor the scent of victory from determination.
Remember that there will always be a change of tide.

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Just venting

Attempting to keep your perfect world, you stay voluntarily oblivious. Pretending things are not said, ignoring the issues... making everything o.k. Do you not understand your perfect world will crumble? Maybe not today or even next year... but when you least expect it. People will not go away, issues will not resolve themselves. What will you do then? What will you do when reality comes knockin'? Your stories won't fly, your stumbling around will fail you... sinking in your own words. I will not follow suit. I refuse to go along with a false sense of reality. That's not how the world works. Hiding behind those walls will leave you lonely... weak. It will leave you clamoring to open the doors you slammed. I only hope those doors won't be sealed forever by then. Let go of this ridiculous life your leading. Open your eyes, summon your strength. Stand up to what's before you and deal with it! Let go of perfection, let go of ignorance. Be honest to yourself and everyone else.




Here in my makeshift home beneath twinkling orbs I rest.
I lie among the quiet, nestled in cold.
Sleep eludes me, but thoughts race rapidly.
Tightly I wrap in cloth attempting to squeeze out the world.
Never does it work.
It's not meant to be kept at bay.
Accepting the state of wakefulness, I reach for pen and paper.
My pill... my dose of chill.
Transferring thoughts, phrases, words; I write.
Clearing the cache.
Eyelids grow heavy as my pen fills each line.
Works everytime.
Surrounded by moonlight, quiet takes me away.
Sleep finds me at peace.
Dreaming of wishes and memories, storing fuel for the morning light.
Quiet still is the night.
Writing cures what ails me.

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Poem: Into the Light

Into the Light

Looking to the future is impossible
when one is dwelling in the past.
...not seeing what's before your eyes
...missing milestones in loved one's lives
This is not the way it's meant to be.
Crepuscular rays in the clouds in Plano, Texas
Take off the blinders;
step into the light.
There you will find a rather pleasant sight.
Beautiful things lie in waiting.
Open your heart;
uncover them with your mind.
This world is not so unkind.
Please, just give it a try.
...look to the light

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My Quote...

Big Heart of Art - 1000 Visual MashupsImage by qthomasbower via Flickr

Love is not material possessions,
it is to be possessed whole heartily.
Love is not social stature,
it is to be social with all.
Love is not money,
it is to give compassionately.
To Love is a very vast emotion we all should yearn to acquire.

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Poem: Not Goodbye


Not Goodbye

Fly upon the wings of a bird,
dance among the stars.
Say hello to heaven.
Freely run for yards and yards
in fields of green with butterflies.
Be who your meant to be,
happy and pain free.
One day I will see you again.
Until then... I shall see you in dreams,
beautiful and whole.
This is not goodbye.
I will miss you.


Thank you for the birds

From me to you...

From Ekerö in Sweden june 25th.Image via Wikipedia

No one is above help from others, not even God. It is possible to turn your life around. Take back control. It is possible to change. Want it... feel it. Except and appreciate what is there for the taking. It can be yours now till the end of days.


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*For a certain someone

Poem: Wasted Words

Wasted Words

Thoughts and feelings aired out to dry.
Invisible... so not really in existence.
Full of meaning, but chosen to be ignored.
What's the point?
What are their chances of being processed?
It's not looking good.
Floating freely, wearily about the room.
Have they been heard? ...Not this time.
Fading, fading in the distance.
Materializing into something they weren't meant to be.
Recognizable no more.
Fallen on deaf ears.
Maybe next time.
Maybe never... probably never.
It's never been a priority.
Wasted words... location unidentified.


Poem: Birds In Flight

Birds In Flight

Cold droplets of dew blanket the earth, pale grey seeps into the sky.
The stillness is broken.
The world, now exposed, comes alive.
Night serenades cease as others awaken, rejuvenated and ready for dawn to arrive.
...and the birds begin to sing.
Warmth radiates from the orange sun, rising ever slowly.
The air is buzzing.
The world, now exposed, is glowing.
Flowers unfold to display various hews as trees spread toward the light, making glorious the landscape and to assist earths' will to thrive.
...and the birds begin to fly.
...and the birds begin to sing.
What an honor it is to witness such a scene.
How I wish to observe it upon a pair of wings.

Birds in Black & WhiteImage by MissMae via Flickr
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A quote made to myself...

I try to follow my own advice; Turns out it's not so easy.  If I was to follow my own advice, Maybe I could see an ending!


*This is a note to myself!
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Suggestions and Experience 1908Image by genibee via Flickr

What do I have to do?

Alright... advice please!
Medieval illustration of a Christian scribe wr...Image via Wikipedia
  I was told by a reliable source (who will remain unknown) about a year ago that writing will never be more than a hobby or release for me. Disappointed and hard headed, I decided to ignore this reliable source and continue to put my writing out there in hopes of finding some sort of work. I never have liked people telling me what I should or shouldn't do! I would love to prove this source wrong and become a famous writer, but I haven't had much luck.
  So far I've...
*Started this blog and advertised it every way I can.
*Made my own Facebook page and joined a couple blogging networks (Blogher)
*Called every magazine in existence just for them to tell me no.
*Called every newspaper in Texas, but they all seem to have an abundance of writers already.
*Emailed online websites asking to write for their newsletters, but I am ignored.
*Contacted many websites like to bid on jobs just to be turned down.
*I've even called an infomercial for writing medical reports online, but it turned out to be a scam.

  I do understand that it takes a long time to establish yourself as a writer before it can be a full-time (dream) job. Right now, I'm trying to get my name out there and make a little money while I'm at it. Could this source actually be correct? What the hell am I not doing?
See... advice is much needed!


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~Birds of a feather~